Usually, when people ask me what classes I’m taking this semester I tell them “the math class from Hell.” 
No jokes here. Every time I walk through that classroom door I feel as if I’m being engulfed in flames. While it is Hell, I can’t help but feel like I jumped into a cold pool, couldn’t swim, and am now drowning in result. This math class is too much for me, so I plan on dropping it. I’m choosing a W. But that doesn’t mean I’m giving up. I’m doing the exact opposite.
I’ve always struggled in math growing up. By the time I got to my senior year I decided that Algebra 2 wasn’t a good choice for me. I could struggle and fail and not graduate high school, even though the rest of my grades were good, or I could take an elective instead and go to community college. I chose the latter, and I’m glad I did. I wasn’t giving up, I was doing what was best for me. And that’s the same thing I’m doing now.
I knew the minute I walked into that classroom it would be too challenging for me. My math skills are too poor. But I told myself that I’d try anyways. And I did, for the most part. For four hours twice a week, I listened to the instructor, even though the topics went over my head, like the map on the BART train or Japanese. I worked with classmates on work sheets and went to tutoring before tests….and then I went to counselors and asked about their opinion on receiving my first ever W. 
My health has never been as bad as it is now. I always feel sick to my stomach, I get awful migraines that power down my brain and my anxiety has tripled since taking this class. The amount of stress from this is unbearable, and no matter what I did or where I was or how much fun I was having during this semester, this math class was always on my mind. 
I meditate and try to calm down but ultimately, it has become a flight or fight type of situation. I cannot keep going to this class with risk of hurting my mind, body or GPA. So I am withdrawing from my math class before the deadline. 
But wait! This is not giving up. This is trying harder, this is fighting back. This is trying a different way. A different class next semester and a different one after that. And if that plan doesn’t work then I will find another path. Getting a W on my transcript shows my struggle, as well as my triumph to staying true to myself. And that’s nothing to be ashamed about. That is something to be celebrated.