Pro Wrestlers bring drama, athleticism to the live stage
![The Stoner Brothers, Rick Scott and Scott Rick, toss Jonny "Drinko" Butabi high in the air to set him up for a "Rizz Bomb," their finishing move.](https://cdn-images-1.medium.com/max/800/0*Xf4kmx0AyeET8tBR.jpg)
They chatter in the crisp spring air — some excited, discussing the matches planned for the evening with pride, nipping clandestinely at concealed containers; others apprehensive, having only heard of the madness that was about to ensue third-hand, awkwardly avoiding eye contact with their Tinder date and trying not to wonder aloud, “What have I gotten myself into?”
All are here for one purpose: to witness the monster that is “Hoodslam” be brought to life.
![Drugz Bunny executes a face-drop on James C. during their grudge match for the Golden Gig.](https://cdn-images-1.medium.com/max/800/0*G345lhv3rAJBDpTj.jpg)
Brody, the voice of the show, is also a heel, or “bad guy” in the professional wrestling world. The audience loves to hate him.
![Background Photo: Broseph Joe Brody sprays a cloud of whiskey on the crowd.](https://cdn-images-1.medium.com/max/800/0*6uAYPK9dg5Ph64fE.jpg)
“This is real! This is, say it with me bitches: MOTHER-FUCKING-HOODLSAM!” Brody yells, leaping onto his knees, punctuating each word as if to rile up an army before battle, and indeed the crowd seems ready to fight and die for him, as the cast members are willing to do for them.
![Ian Hancement and Sage Sin force Jonny “Drinko” Butabi out of the ring in a Last Man Standing match.](https://cdn-images-1.medium.com/max/800/0*bF7NbvRKg5bZmWe8.jpg)
![Hero of Hyrule Link front flips onto P.O.N.G.](https://cdn-images-1.medium.com/max/800/0*k4FI3phb7bwesRnC.jpg)
True to their word, standing ringside you’re just as likely to get to hit a blunt the size of your forearm or receive a shot of Jack poured down your throat as a face full of powdered sugar or cottage cheese.
The crowd is likely to burst out in chants of “FUCK THE FANS” whenever a particularly egregious offense against their own occurs, an homage to the close-up nature of the event and a reminder to not take themselves, or the show, too seriously.
![Drugz Bunny throws his arch nemesis off the top rope in preparation for an aerial maneuver.](https://cdn-images-1.medium.com/max/800/0*wuIPizze0YELvrPU.jpg)
The phenomenon quickly grew out of its humble beginnings of sparse attendance and noise complaints and was invited to appear as an act during “Tourettes Without Regrets,” an underground variety show held every first Thursday of the month at the Metro.
![James C. gets his revenge by dropping Drugz Bunny on a folding chair, although he would ultimately lose the match and the Golden Gig, one of Hoodslam's most prestigious awards.](https://cdn-images-1.medium.com/max/800/0*pL8YmVhmlPNDZD_l.jpg)
![Sub-Zero from “Mortal Kombat” freezes Ian Hancement with an Ice Blast (Down + Forward + Low Punch).](https://cdn-images-1.medium.com/max/800/0*GA44mF7stKC0H3OY.jpg)
The thousand or so that get in, however, have just purchased a ticket to a ride they’ll not likely soon forget. If nothing else, it’s akin to seeing an adult themed, full-contact ballet, complete with house band.
They will also occasionally host guest acts such as Arnocorps, the 80’s-action-movie-themed hardcore band; the Oakland Opera and Symphony for Hoodslam: The Opera, a three-night stint preforming an American Opera written in the 1920’s for shadow-boxing and updated to fit the Hoodslam universe.
The plot lines at Hoodslam run deep — this is as much about aesthetics as it is about athletics, after all. There are ongoing feuds, changes of heart, backstabbing, and the ultimate battle of good against evil.
Every match, every character, is the physical embodiment of a daydream where a bored 12-year-old imagines what it would look like if two Super Heroes, Brittany Wonder and the Kellogg Corn Flakes mascot-tuned-vigilante named Cereal Man, teamed up against Zangif, the Russian guy from Street Fighter, and then the Camera Guy who was filming the match puts down his gear to power-bomb somebody.
You get to see Ken from “Street Fighter II” drop Link from “Legend of Zelda” with a well placed Hadouken, or maybe a gangster incarnation of Winnie the Pooh beat someone up with a pair of crutches.
![Broseph Joe Brody pours a shot of whiskey into an awaiting fan’s mouth.](https://cdn-images-1.medium.com/max/800/0*wdoMgGM_JgNcMSKa.jpg)
It’s been said that there’s a lot of things in pro wrestling that don’t sound cool unless you’ve seen it, but that never seems to be the case for Hoodslam.
Professional wrestling has been described as having “more to do with ‘Game of Thrones’ than the UFC,” making the ubiquitous chant of “THIS IS REAL” throughout the night both tactfully ironic and scarily apt.
While the event is not an actual fight, but rather a dramatic dance ABOUT a fight, the cast members do preform trained stunts that, if not done correctly, could lead to serious injury.
Hoodslam took the idea of pro wrestling as a performance art piece and ran with it. The event is a wild ride with twists and turns, betrothment and betrayal, spirits and medication (if you’ve got your prescription, that is).
![THE Brian Kendrick continues his feud with Butternuts before beating the stuffing out and eventually decapitating him later in the match (R.I.P. Butternuts).](https://cdn-images-1.medium.com/max/800/0*-dtHdbgwulwE1m8I.jpg)
Just remember, when you see two 300-plus pound twins, blunts clenched firmly in mouths, toss a man who time-traveled here from the Sunset Strip in 1985 10 feet off the mat and guide his body with military precision back down to earth, that was real.
If the brothers use those powers to throw a man into a pile of Flamin’ Hot Cheetos on the mat, burning his back and forcing him to discover that the only remedy is to apply Cool Ranch Doritos to the wound, that was real too. It happened, there’s no denying that.
The rest is up to you.
Hoodslam
![Guido the Reffree sparks up some mid match medication as Anthony Butabi bumps and grinds with Trina Michaels.](https://cdn-images-1.medium.com/max/800/0*XYWU-yqcl8G3ICSq.jpg)
Doors at 8pm, first bell at 9
More info available at:
birdswillfall.com
($20 at the door)