Peralta Community College District's Only Student-Run Publication
Peralta Community College District's only student-run publication.

The Citizen

Peralta Community College District's only student-run publication.

The Citizen

Peralta Community College District's only student-run publication.

The Citizen

    Trump campaign a hoax?

    Is The Donald really in it to win it, or are we getting taken for a ride by a master showman?

    There is a rumor circulating on the Internet that Donald Trump’s Presidential campaign is not simply obnoxious, but a legitimate hoax. 
    A number of viral, click-bait articles accuse the former frontrunner of ulterior motives ranging from hyping his personal brand as a “419 scam” to being a 5th columnist for Hillary Clinton and the Democrats.
    America loves its conspiracy theories and thanks to the digital age there is hardly a single event or public figure (past or present) that doesn’t fit into some keyboard sleuth’s personal RICO case. 
    What makes this theory unique, however, is if it’s revealed to be true, it would actually vindicate The Donald. All of Trump’s antics, his decadence, his xenophobia, his blow-hardness would all become self-parody and go down as one of the greatest pieces of performance art in American history. 
    While the “Trump Troll” theory is unlikely, it begs an even more important question: Why don’t the rich do more with their money? 
    Why does the 1% waste its time buying elections and self-absorbed philanthropy? Where is the Lex Luthor level of gumption that Trump or the Koch brothers would like you to believe they have? 
    With their money, why not buy a small country and live like emperors they know they were destined to be? For that matter, why not the moon?
    Where are the robot armies and mind-control satellites? Or any of the other elite schemes for total domination that decades of sci-fi and tin-foil-clad conspiracy theorists have been promising us? If we have to share the planet with the ultra-rich in a state of radical inequality, then let them be more entertaining with their massive resources. 
    The sad truth is that America’s hyper-bourgeois is too boring and lazy to possess any greatness of their own, let alone lead us to any kind of greatness on a national level. 
    If, however, on the day of his inauguration in 2017 the Trumpster turned to face the American people after completing his oath of office and said “America, you’re fired!” just before his army of subterranean mole people rose from the depths of the earth to begin their thousand year reign of terror — I could at least die impressed.

    Maxwell Sharp is a Tower staff writer. Email him at Maxcsharp88(at)gmail.com

    About the Contributor
    In the fall of 2019, The Laney Tower rebranded as The Citizen and launched a new website. These stories were ported over from the old Laney Tower website, but byline metadata was lost in the port. However, many of these stories credit the authors in the text of the story. Some articles may also suffer from formatting issues. Future archival efforts may fix these issues.  
    Leave a Comment
    Donate to The Citizen
    $0
    $500
    Contributed
    Our Goal

    Comments (0)

    All Sort: Newest

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *